Why hello there readers of Genius/insanity! Glad to see you!
How have you been? eating enough? sleeping enough? talking to at least one person a day?
Answer those questions. Hopefully they’re all positive. Look at it this way, at least you’re still here! There’s a bonus in and of itself. Now onto the content:
In Humble Defiance is the name I finally went for as the title to this post, so let’s clarify that for a second; humble means (according to Merriam-Webster anyway) to be “not proud or haughty”, while defiance is (again, thank you Merriam-Webster) “the act of defying someone or something.” So humble defiance put together means something along the lines of resisting without glamour. But what does this have to do with suicide, you may ask? If you would calm down a dang second, I could tell you. Jeez, so impatient! (I’m kidding, please don’t leave!). Now, a little side note here: most of the stuff I say here is opinion, based off of my personal experiences. I’m mostly sure that what I’m about to say could be backed up with facts, but don’t quote me on it.
A very popular myth is that people who are suicidal are just trying to get attention. This is so far from the truth I don’t even think it’s funny. Most people going through some form of a mental disorder, especially things like depression, anxiety and bipolar, are definitely not going to draw attention to themselves in that manor. The only people who might hear anything are very close friends, and even then, the attention is incredibly undesirable! From personal experience, and having talked to a wide range of individuals, that’s the last thing that is wanted: to feel like we have forced our burdens on others. When we are at those incredibly low points, those instances where nothing seems like it could get better, we may need help, but for sure we don’t want it because it’s just a bother to others. Our problems don’t need to be others problems, because we are not worth the time to listen too.
Now, a lot of you might be thinking “What the hell? But if you need help, why aren’t you asking for it? It doesn’t make sense!” Well, here’s the deal (and the host can correct me on this one) When someone is thinking about suicide, they are not rational. It is considered by no one to be a logical decision, even those who have considered it when they’re not in the pit of despair. That’s the point: It’s not logical. It makes no sense. absolutely none. And yet, people are still victims of suicide.
I think it’s important to realize that suicide is preventable, yet SO hard to see. It is what makes you wonder if the person next to you, be it friend or stranger, is actually okay. I have noticed that a lot of the survivor stories talk about the pain they felt. This pain is real, not just a sort of mental pain. You feel as if all of your insides are being put through a wringer, combining anxiety and nervousness with the lack of emotion from the depression. It is constant and if you’re not doing anything to help yourself, it is ever present. This, however, is where humble defiance comes in.
Suicide is scary, but not something we should be scared to ask. Personal experience tells me that it’s easier to be asked if I’m okay (periodically, not every second and maybe not even every day) then for me to reach out for my own sake. If somebody says to you they just want to sit there, then that’s what they need in that moment, but don’t see them as a fragile little snowflake. Frankly, it’s insulting. Be their friend, and if they talk to you about their own emotional and mental state, then listen, because it’s probably one of the best things that you can do, is sit there and listen. This is humble defiance: the act of knowing someone hurts, knowing that someone is struggling with the importance of their existence, but instead of coddling them or telling them it will all be okay, not treating them differently. Humble defiance is looking at someone you know is suicidal, and sits with them, keeps up with them. Empathize, not sympathize with their mental state. You are standing in humble defiance of their plan or thoughts without enforcing an agenda or coddling or thinking they are a broken little puppy who ALWAYS needs help. No, a person in humble defiance will suggest seeing a professional. They will joke when laughter is needed. They will make the person feel human, not broken.
It’s a hard concept, but it helps if you go in with an attitude of treating them like a friend. that’s all I want out of a friendship or relationship of any sort. Someone to sit and crack jokes when I feel as if nothing could be funny again. Someone to sit in humble defiance of the thoughts in my own head, not adding onto them. Someone to keep me moving, pushing me towards living. This is humble defiance. This is needed. This is logical.
Phew! I’m late with this cause you know, life. GO ME!!! Anywho, if anything is super out of line here, hopefully the host will correct it, because I’m sure something is wrong. But that’s it! Glad I could come over here and see what’s going on with this AMAZING blog! Please, keep reading it! and come give mine a look-see: willsinsanity.wordpress.com
Thanks for having me! glad to get something up, even if it is late! Be safe! Don’t do drugs, stay in school! 😀
If you or anyone you know is having suicidal thoughts please call the National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273 TALK (8255) or text 741741.
If you are not in America click here it has hotlines for almost every country in the world and in your native language.